Friday, 28 September 2012


My mum has been staying with me this last week and she has been less than complementary about my choice of telly. But when I stayed at her house recently she said that it was her house her rules and that her Freeview box was far too full to allow me to spend telly time watching frivolous things like X Factor. She had to get through her massive list of dramas: police dramas, spy dramas, period dramas (I don’t know how she follows that many different characters, one episode of Dallas and a fence dispute between Paul Robinson and his latest Neighbour per week is quite enough drama for me). So when she’s under my roof she has to watch my telly, and is forced to sit huffing and puffing her way through my selection of cookery programmes (“why is she doing it that way?” “Urgh, I hate ginger”) and reality shows (“I don’t know why you watch this stuff, Downton is so much better”).

Anyway, one of my all time favourite programmes is Sister Wives. It’s a reality programme about the polygamist Brown family in the US. For those who don’t know the background, husband Cody has four wives (one recognised by law, three “blessings” through his church). They were living in a massive home in Utah, each wife had her own wing which were joined by a central living room. Cody rotates his time around each “family”. They have since moved to Vegas where they could not find a home big enough so each wife has her own house.

At first glance, it’s a bit alien to the “normal” way of living. But scratch beneath the surface and for the women (yes, I said the women) it must be an idyllic way of life. When I was “married off” I had a number of single friends who steadfastly refused to give up their single lives, and I couldn’t understand it, surely they were missing out? But I now totally get it. I am pretty protective of my independent lifestyle, my evenings are my own, I can do what I like, when I like, I can put my furniture where I want, and I am getting more and more confident with “jobs” around the house (I fixed a long broken radiator the other day with nothing more than a few minutes on Google, a claw hammer and a screwdriver) and I love having my massive bed all to myself (except when the kids come in with me which is mostly lovely although Son Two has got a mosquito bite at the moment so it’s like spending the night with a large flea ridden dog, scratch scratch). Every day I wake up and know that my happiness is entirely my doing, and my path is entirely of my own making. Bliss.

But there are times when I miss having a man around. It would be nice to have a cuddle every now and then, and sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it, I need a man’s strength to help me get some massive piece of furniture down or up from the loft, and those are the times when I really miss it. Having a part time husband seems like the ultimate in luxury.

The wives get to run their own lives, they only have to be wife for one or two nights a week. Imagine that, you would know exactly what nights you needed to shave your legs, the rest of the time you could relax in your own house; all your own, not tripping over men’s stuff. And one of the best things is that these women are all the best of friends. One of them stays at home and looks after the kids while the others go out to work. I can’t remember who said it but there was a career woman who once said, I don’t need a babysitter, cook or a cleaner, I need a wife. A polygamous marriage would solve that. Shared responsibility for child and husband care, the rest of your time is your own.

Doubters try to say that these women are restricted. But when you watch it you quickly realise that it’s the women that are empowered. Poor old Cody lives out of suitcases, and is more downtrodden than any husband I know, having four women to nag him and is constantly trying to keep everyone happy.

There was one episode when the wives were asked whether they would consider taking on more husbands, and they all looked at each other uncomfortably, shifting around in their seats, explaining that having multiple husbands was not part of their religion. But I think the reason why they were reluctant to go there is because they secretly realise that they have it cushy.

Women have got wise to the fact that ultimately a husband is a massive responsibility and I think being a Sister Wife would be a great way of sharing that responsibility. I love having my freedom but I would happily take on a husband on a part time only basis. Kind of like a job share.

Ask any man if more than one wife would be good for him and he will immediately say it’s a great idea, a perfect way to satisfy his “high sex drive” (incidentally men, just FYI, you all have “high sex drives”, there is no need to advertise it on your dating profile or make sure you tell us on the first date). But ask a woman and she will immediately say “no thanks”. Because we know that more than one husband just means more work. And, as far as the sex drive goes, it’s just like fixing the broken radiator, we don’t need a man to do it for us (although occasionally having someone else to wield the hammer would make a nice change).


  1. I don't know how you do it, when I read you blogs I ALWAYS laugh! This is sooooooooo true. I think you might be right, these wives have got the right idea!!!! xx