Autumn: Take it or Leaf It (See what I did there?)

Take it: Hearty food. Shepherds pies, stews, warming soups.

Leaf it: Spending hours in the kitchen, sweating over vats of bubbling stew, soup and various mince dishes, only for kids to say they wanted chicken nuggets.

Take it: The morning school run. Bracing fresh air, ruddy pink cheeks on the kids, laughing and kicking fallen leaves.

Leaf it: The morning school run. Imminent threat of being knocked out by a prickly conker falling from trees above. Child kicking stealth dog turd hiding under said fallen leaves.

Take it: Yay! Get out the sandals, we’re having an Indian Summer!

Leaf it: Get out the sandals, we’re having an Indian Summer. Put away the sandals, it’s flipping freezing. Get out the sandals, put them away, get out the sandals… for goodness sake, I just want to wear my trainers.

Take it: English apples, pears, blackberries… all the joy of natures bounty.

Leaf it: Natures bounty. Fruit bowl full of wizened apples and glut of pears as hard as bowling balls. Feeling guilty and cross at all the rotten apples littering the garden and getting trodden through the house.

Take it: Christmas is coming!

Leaf it: Oh shit. Christmas is coming. Have mini panic attack in Pound Shop at sight of Advent Calendars, come home have more serious panic attack at distinct lack of stamps in Tesco saving stamp booklet.

Take it: Knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am not going to go out in public wearing a bikini anytime soon therefore can relax the diet and exercise routine.

Leaf it: The constant gnawing feeling that underneath extra layers of clothes, an extra layer of fat is forming. Plus the inevitably rubbish feeling that comes with another day passing without working out, and mixed feelings of enjoyment/resentment/guilt about that extra serving of crumble and custard.

Take it: Son number one looking especially cute in his brand new school uniform.

Leaf it: Son number one returning from school with school uniform covered in grass stains and repeatedly having to wash it. Realisation that “no iron” only valid when washed and line dried, not tumble dried to a crispy ball because of changeable weather. When I was a kid we wore the same skirt/trousers for a week. My mum had it easy.

Take it: Gusty winds blowing outside and feeling cosy and warm inside.

Leaf it: Battling gusty winds with the buggy, screaming child freaked out by waterproof bubble, sweating in a rain coat bought online, described as olive green only to arrive neon lime coloured, coming home to find hair not only blown out of neat ponytail but also full of static from damn lime coloured raincoat.

Take it: Not being attacked by wasps and bees when eating outside.

Leaf it: Getting complacent that danger of wasps and bees has now passed, finding two hornets in our bedroom ready to savage us as we sleep. Not eating outside because it’s flipping freezing.

Take it: The excitement of getting dressed up in hats and scarves for the rare treat of bonfire/fireworks night.

Leaf it: Fireworks starting in September and last through till January.

Take it:  Halloween, carving pumpkins, fancy dress parties, cute kids dressed up trick or treating at our door.

Leaf it: Having to hand out sweets to young adults not even bothered to dress up (unless you count a hoody and flesh tunnel) under the guise of trick or treating. Cheeky gits.

Take it: Winter coats, hats, scarves, a whole new wardrobe in fact.

Leaf it: The never ending quest for the perfect Winter coat, resulting in fifteen discarded specimens which aren’t quite right but cost hundreds of pounds over the years so can’t justify sending to charity shop, brought down from loft in October and returned in April, another year unworn and another few added to collection.

Take it: Spending every evening in front of the telly with a blanket over knees, drinking Ovaltine instead of Pinot Grigio, wearing slipper socks instead of sexy cork wedges.

Leaf it: Feeling like should really not enjoy slipper socks and Ovaltine quite so much.

What are your Autumn takes and leaves?

Tax the Fat?

Denmark has just introduced the worlds first “fat tax”. They are now imposing an extra cost on food that contains more than 2.3% saturated fat. But could a fat tax like the one in Denmark be the answer to the UK obesity epidemic, or would it just line the pockets of the government?

I have a complex relationship with food. Like many women I have battled with my weight at various times in my life. I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, I’ve been pregnant… I’ve now reached a point where I’m happy and find it fairly easy to maintain, mainly because I make a point to be more active. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes like to eat an entire share pack of Maltesers in one sitting (I am a woman after all). Would I think twice if that pack of Maltesers was twice the price?

Yes, I probably would. But I don’t see why I should pay more for my Maltesers which I see as a treat, just to cover the extra costs generated by people who choose to eat Maltesers for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The trouble with taxing food is it costs everyone extra. Smokers pay for their NHS treatment through ridiculously high taxes, as do drinkers. And numbers of smokers and drinkers have decreased in line with higher taxes. I asked the man what he thought, and he reckons people over a certain BMI should have to pay extra council tax. I think targeting those people who are in the morbidly obese weight range, who consistently refuse any attempt to lose weight should be the people that are paying. They are the ones that cost us money. Especially with the number of gastric bands they are now doling out on the NHS. Maybe if people who were in the morbidly obese range were made to pay extra for the privilege, they would think twice before having that extra chocolate bar.

They have made great progress by educating people about the dangers of smoking and drinking, and supporting people to give up. Why can’t they do the same with those struggling to lose weight? When I asked my doctor to help me lose weight I was handed some printed sheets about calories and activity and told to get on with it. I didn’t feel half the level of support some of my friends have got when asking for help to give up smoking. It’s not as if one day you just wake up at 30 stone, maybe if these people had more support at 15 stone, they wouldn’t have got to that point in the first place.

Half the problem is there are just too many excuses not to lose weight, and the number one reason? Not enough time. Lots of people simply don’t have time to think about food, we’re too busy and we need things to be quick. But many people just aren’t aware that you can cook a cheap, family dinner for in half the time than it takes to cook a ready meal in the oven. And we are too busy to learn.

I also hate this new “healthy” obsession. Apparently butter is not healthy, low fat margarine is. But most of the so-called “healthy” or low-fat stuff barely even resembles food. Didn’t they find that the transfats found in so called healthier than butter margarine was a carcinogen? They took them out and replaced them with what? Water? Studies have also shown that the calcium found in full fat dairy products actually aids weight loss. Fat free yoghurts are full of artificial sweeteners and flavourings to make them taste nice, but adding fruit or even jam to plain yoghurt is cheaper and much tastier and yes, less calories too. Believe me I know, I am a calorie geek. But I think the “healthy” label is dangerous, eat too much of anything and it will make you fat.

Why are there only two ends of the scale, healthy or fattening? What about the normal food our parents grew up on?

Something needs to be done to curb the rise of the morbidly obese, but I don’t think taxing food is the answer. People need to be given more support and education on how to live a balanced, healthy life. Including healthy food, plenty of exercise and the odd share pack of Maltesers, because we all deserve a treat every now and again.