I Heart...

I am passionate about our language, and I love it in all its many forms. But our language is so precious to us, when people think it has been misused they can get quite defensive about it. My dad was affronted that I had used the phrase “I heart self help books” in my last blog post. I pointed out that I was merely tapping into an increasingly popular contemporary colloquialism; ‘heart’ has been a verb ever since New York made it famous in the 80’s, or was it the 60’s? And one of the things I love about blogging is that I am freed from the shackles of strict grammar and punctuation that I was bound to at University, and when writing for publication. This is MY space, I can afford to be a bit more abstract if I so choose, and as long as I get my point across, and people enjoy reading it, then my mission is accomplished. Besides I think that there is something about using a noun in the place of a verb that makes it seem kind of cuter.

Quite recently I observed a conversation on Facebook about text speak. I personally don’t use text speak whether in texts or anything else, as I think it is tantamount to me greeting my friends with street slang, it makes me feel and sound silly. As much as I heart (ha) my little colloquialisms within my writing, they have to fit the person they are coming from. And street slang just ain’t my bag, baby. And neither is text speak. I admit part of my problem with text speak is that I find it quite difficult to decipher, and pointless now that most phones have predictive text. But my theory on text speak is that any time saved by the person writing it is totally offset by the person reading it, hardly fair. Use proper words when texting me please, as much as I find it fascinating, I simply don’t have time to translate it.

A word on predictive text, who came up with the original dictionary? I am regularly astounded by the words my phone doesn’t recognise and the frankly bizarre ones it does. Today it didn’t recognise ‘bereaved’, but I have noted that it does recognise ‘schizophrenic’. And when writing ‘script’, the first option it suggests is ‘rapist’. You have to ask yourself what kind of person decided to leave out ‘bereaved’ but felt it essential that schizophrenic and rapist be essential additions. Scary.

As a writer, you would think I might be firmly in the ‘don’t mess with my language’ camp, but actually I am the opposite. I love the way language is constantly evolving and that people are always coming up with new ways to communicate in words. The language we choose is a way of expressing our personality, much like the clothes or make up we wear. And my opinion is that as long as something rolls off the tongue when we speak or off the fingers when we type naturally without sounding affected then I’m all for it.

I have many little turns of phrase which others choose not to use. It is part of what makes us different. I don’t use text speak just because I can’t see the point, but I do often shorten words and add an ‘o’ as in ‘defo’ and ‘arvo’.  I know many people find that terribly irritating but what can I say? I’m from the Neighbours generation, and those who don’t like it can rack off, the big galahs. 

Changing the habit of a lifetime

I think I may be about to commit writers fraud. 

I'm writing an article for my course about how to be organised. As a reader this is exactly the kind of article that would prompt me to buy a magazine, as I am hideously disorganised. I feel like I am constantly chasing after the organised bus and never, ever catch it, so always reach my destination late, out of breath, sweaty and exhausted, leaving a trail of mess, half finished jobs and fluttering to-do lists in my wake.

So I have asked a few of my most organised friends to give me their thoughts, as well as a leading UK time management specialist and an organisational consultant.

I was so excited to do this article as I was convinced it might finally drag me out of the depths of disorganisation and into the light of an orderly home and life. I was convinced I would finally learn the secret.

But it’s just not going to happen. Because despite being given some fantastic tips I have finally realised that actually there is no secret. I have read about 10 organisation books and time management books, all spouting off brilliant ideas about how to get organised, and none of it is any different to what my organised friends are telling me. This stuff must work because organised people are telling me that’s what they do, but despite knowing it, I clearly haven’t put any of it into practice. Why on earth not?

I can only come up with two theories, finding it hard to change a habit of a life time or, controversially, some kind of not wanting to. Shock, horror... could I actually like being disorganised? Surely not? When I see my friends who are incredibly organised I can’t help but feel a bit crap, look how much more successful at life they are than me. They are doing all this and their house looks great and their time is well managed. But is there some part of me, very deep down, that’s likes to be a bit dizzy? Surely I’m not so much of a pig that I like living in filth (filth may be a bit strong, honestly my house isn’t that bad but it works for effect here so bare with me)? It’s not that I spend my time doing nothing while everyone else is busily keeping their house tidy, but I can always come up with at least a hundred (usually quite fun) things I would rather do instead of organising my wardrobe and only one reason why I really must do it, right now, and almost always one of the hundred things wins.

Or maybe it’s just hard to change the habit of a lifetime. They say it takes two weeks to create a habit, and maybe this is something I need to bare in mind when I am trying to get my organising on. Just do a little something every day for two weeks before it becomes a habit. But I have tried this. Many, many times. My resolve lasts about a week max before I start to slip back into previous habits. The thing is I like staring into space while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. If I start dashing around trying to get things done in this little window of organisation opportunity, I would miss out on valuable thinking time. And believe me I am thinking. More organised people might whirl around like spinning tops getting things done while I’m looking all calm and serene and frankly like I’m doing nothing, but on the inside my mind is working like concert pianists fingers, non stop and flying. If I start missing out on that unfettered thinking time I’m worried it may cause some sort of malfunction, steam billowing from the ears, or talking in Russian maybe?

So how am I going to commit writing fraud? Well, I’m going to be writing an article instructing people how to become organised. When I’m not at all sure it’s possible to convert a disorganised person into an organised one. Because I have been reading all these books and articles for years, and it hasn’t changed me has it? I thought writing the article would be easy, that I would be convinced. But this may prove a challenge for me as I have to convince others of something I’m not at all sure I believe in.

I have been organised and managed my time well. I have managed to do it. Many times. But it’s just not sustainable for me. For some reason, something clicks and I go straight back to where I was. Maybe being disorganised and dizzy is so engrained into my psyche that it ain’t never coming out. Maybe I should just accept this is the way I am and embrace it. Stop trying to fix myself.

But I do love a project and what better subject than myself? Now please excuse me while I go and prioritise my to do list.