Mind your Language

I was taking son number 2 to preschool the other day and the car park is a public car park frequented by a load of kids on skateboards. I don’t have a problem with these kids, in fact my boys love to watch them on their skateboards, it’s a free country. But on this occasion, one lad, who had fallen off his skateboard, shouted “c***” at the top of his voice. And I surprised myself by being absolutely livid.

I’m not usually the kind of person to be offended by swearing. They are just words and do no harm, and I like to think that people are free to express themselves however they choose, but since having children I find myself becoming more and more offended by the language people use, not for myself, but in trying to protect my kids.

When son number 1 said the F-word aged 3 I was shocked at how upsetting I found it. Obviously he was reprimanded and hasn’t said it again. But why are swear words swear words? What is the difference between my kids stubbing their toe and saying “fiddlesticks” as opposed to “shit”? The meaning is the same.

To me people do far more offensive things every single day. Such as not saying their please and thank you’s and not apologising when they have been in the wrong, but often these things aren’t considered as bad as swearing. It’s perfectly OK to not apologise for skinning my ankle with your buggy, but highly offensive to say “bollocks” when it hurts. It’s a strange set of values.

Many people argue that swearing is just for ignorant people, devoid of the education needed to use language properly. To me, swearing is just a different way of expressing yourself and has no bearing on a person’s educational background, gender or age. In fact, you could argue that those with a colourful swearing vocabulary actually have more words at their finger tips than those who refuse to use slang.

I also don’t understand why some swear words are more offensive than others. Some people don’t have an issue with the word “sh*t” but they can’t stand the f word or the even more controversial, c word. I suppose if someone called me a “vagina” (I still can’t say that word without sniggering) I would probably be pretty upset about it, in the same way as someone called me a c-word. But they both mean the same thing don’t they? So why is one bad and one acceptable?

It is all down to the emotion behind the word and the situation you are in I suppose. Being a mum I’ve had to take the kids to the doctors with toilet trouble on more than one occasion and still find it impossible to say when they have had a “bowel movement” as opposed to a “poo”. But if you think about it, most words that we think of as swear words have 3 versions, the clinical (bowel movement), the everyday-some-people-might-be-offended word (poo), and the swear word (shit). Think about it. You can do it with most swear words, it’s great fun. Although I can’t see it catching on as a car game but school is always telling us parents to use games to increase kids vocab.

I have wrestled with this argument all morning, trying to think of just why people find these words offensive, and why I don’t have a problem with people swearing around me but I can’t stand people swearing around my kids. Kids might copy everything they hear and see but we can’t protect them from everything. I often worry (amongst other things) that my kids will grow up and get flesh tunnels then change their mind and take them out and end up with massive droopy ear lobes for the rest of their lives. But flesh tunnels are not considered offensive or something that shouldn’t be seen around kids. Loads of teenagers have them.

The crux of it all is, it doesn’t matter why swearing is offensive, there is no point in arguing the case for or against it. I’m sure we could debate this subject all day but it won’t change the fact that some people find things offensive and therefore, in certain situations, swearing should be avoided so as not to upset people. While researching this piece I came across a guy on a forum who said that swearing should be thought of in the same way as farting, used only when you really need to, when you can’t restrain yourself, for comedy value and/or only in the right setting, which I think is a pretty good set of rules to go by. Now piss off and enjoy your weekend.

Just a quick note – I am coming up to my hundredth post in the next few weeks and thought it might be fun to throw it out there and ask you guys if there was any topics you would like to see covered on my blog. No pressure, but it would be interesting to hear some of your ideas. Please comment anywhere on the blog or email me at bethanyritchie@gmail.com with your ideas. Please note this is NOT a competition, no rules apply and there are no prizes, sorry! J