Eeeeek!

Ok so that's probably not a very creative start for a so called "creative writer" but you gotta start somewhere. I wonder how many people's blogs have started with that very title? Millions, I expect.

OK so I've decided its now or never. Shit or bust. I either get on and become a writer or a shut up about it and go and work in an office or something, do whats expected of me, a responsible 'wife' and mother. I've always had this dream, it's time to live it or put the whole thing to rest and get on with my life. Thing is I just hate waste. And I can't help but think I'm a big old bag of wasted potential. So this blog is going to be about my journey of striving to become a real, proper, legitimate writer.

I've always love to write. I used to write little books as a child and illustrate them myself, then I read my first Judy Blume book aged about 8 and it just blew me away. No matter where I was or what I was doing when I was reading a book suddenly I wasn't at home, or in the playground, I was living a new adventure or feeling new feelings and that was when the whole world just opened up to me. I could be anyone, go anywhere or feel anything, real or imagined, just by opening a book. That was when I realised I wanted to write and take people on the journeys and adventures of my imagination, my world.

I completed a BA in Creative Studies in English well over 10 years ago now, became a Technical Writer (sounds fancy but actually involved very little writing), lived abroad, came home and had kids. During this entire time I have written very little, sporadically at best, nothing at all at worst. Each time I start another unfinished project I know where its going. Nowhere! Because although I have some talent for writing (as much as anyone can think they have without being arrogant), and have learned a skill, I don't actually know how to use it. This lack of direction stops me from really getting my teeth into a project and also gives me no idea as to whether or not anything I'm writing is marketable. How to get my writing out there. How do I make a living from it? 

I have come to realise that I'm getting WAY ahead of myself. The first step is just to write. Write, write and write again. Then write some more. Write everything and anything that comes to mind in whatever little window of time I get. I'm sure even a shopping list could become more exciting with a little bit of Beth flair, OK, maybe not but you get the gist. Hmmm maybe that would be a good idea for a writing exercise. Write a shopping list with flair. That would be a good start. One of those pointless exercises designed for nothing more than flexing the old writing muscle. I'll do that.

Also I have been taken over by THE FEAR. As long as I'm not actually writing I'm not doing it and failing, no one is laughing at me and I don't look silly, a stupid little girl with a wild fantasy...

No more fear, no more procrastination. Every little thing I do and every little step I take is a step further to realising my dream.