The time has come. The world watches. What will the dress be like? Will she show up on time? Will Harry still be a little bit drunk from the stag night?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen our nation so excited. Even Fairy liquid is bringing out a commemorative bottle. And I ask you what on earth has washing up liquid got to do with the Royal Wedding? Honestly. Everywhere I look a company is cashing in. I saw a poster in a clothes shops window “get your hat for the wedding here!” as if everyone in our town had been given an invite. And I suppose given that BBC coverage started at 8am, three hours before the actual event, we kind of have. We’re all going to be sick to death of it by the end of the day, aren’t we?
And if the frenzy of excitement isn’t enough for us we can add to the thrill by having a little Royal Wedding bet. What colour hat the Queen will wear, what time Kate will arrive, whether or not the carriage will be open top, which song will be the first dance. William Hill were previously offering 50-1 on Kings of Leon Sex is on Fire, now THAT is a first dance I’d like to see. Can you imagine the Queen and Prince Pip tapping their toes to that one? Genius. They are also offering 8-1 on Prince Phillip being caught having a sleep during the service. Who comes up with the odds of that?
I may not be jumping out of my seat with excitement but I admit it, I’m a tad jealous of the people having champagne breakfasts, cream teas, street parties and getting dressed up to watch the occasion on the telly. I would love the opportunity to get my fascinator out. Alas I’m going to be watching it with only half an eye whilst wiping bums and filling the kids up on crap so I can at least semi concentrate on the celebrations. I might have a hot cross bun and a coffee. Champagne breakfast it is not, but I’m actually quite excited about it. It’s been ages since I’ve had a hot cross bun.
It’s Kate I feel sorry for. She must be getting through rather a few pairs of La Perla knickers right now. Can you imagine how terrifying this must be? I’m still not sure I’ll ever have the nerve to be a bride, and it would be a slightly smaller occasion for me. She must love William an awful lot to be willing to go through all this for him.
My friend was saying she would love to have the attention of the world on her wedding day. I would love the designer dress and all the jewels, hell I’d be wearing diamond shoes if that was me, but to have the entire world watching? No thank you. I need a valium to survive being a guest at a wedding, let alone get married myself in front of billions of people. The very thought of it makes me feel rather queasy.
I feel kind of sorry for them really. Imagine being born into that? It’s easy for us to say that all they have to do is snip a couple of ribbons for a living, but we can pretty much do as we please. Poor old Wills was born into a life beyond anything we can imagine. He hasn’t got a choice. Bless him.
After a rather enjoyable dream about William a few years ago I promptly joined the Future Wives of Prince William group on Facebook. I thought I could see myself as a Queen, although more of a Queen Victoria than Catherine, as I was much rounder having just had son number one, and I was going through one of my (increasingly rare) grown up phases. But I now realise I’m more of a Prince Harry girl, not enough of a lady for Wills, I fart too much.
I wonder how much involvement William and Kate have been allowed to have with their wedding plans. They have the high expectations of the world to live up to. No popping off to Vegas and tying the knot in baseball caps and jeans for them.
Yep, I for one feel a bit sorry for them. Can’t be easy being a Royal. But any excuse for a hot cross bun. Cheers, chin chin and all that.
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