I know times are tough right now, mass unemployment, faltering economy, threat of terrorist attack, wars, famines, floods, earthquakes... it makes for a scary and insecure world, but surely this is the time more than ever that we should all be pulling together and cheering each other up.
As a rule I'm am, and always have been, one of those people that really tries to be polite, sometimes almost over polite and over apologetic (which is probably quite annoying at times I admit). I'm the person that apologises when YOU tread on MY toe, I say sorry to supermarket staff when asking for help and I always smile when I catch someones eye (unless that person looks particularly scary).
Two things have happened recently that have really made me question what kind of "community" we live in. Last week I took the boys to McDonald's for dinner (don't judge me, it was a Friday afternoon, I'd had a hard week and my son had been begging me to go all week). I had done quite a bit of shopping that afternoon so my buggy was fully loaded with shopping, an 18 month old and a 4year old on a buggy board (yes I know, what a cliched McDonald's customer I am). I was so stressed and just get wanted to some food down the kids so we could get out of there that I forgot how loaded the buggy was. As soon as I tried to take little one out of the buggy it went over backwards and he ended up on the floor, standard comedy situation of tins of beans rolling all over the place and fruit being bruised while I was struggling trying to pick him and buggy up and save my shopping from being spread all over MacD's. Not ONE person offered to help me or even asked if I was OK. Everyone just stared. I can't tell you how shocked I was. I mean, if I had seen that I would have most definitely offered help, or are people simply scared of offering help these days in case they accidentally ask one of those "get out of my face whats your effing problem" people who seem to have a completely bizarre view on what is actually rude and what is considered polite ("You smiling at me yeah? Something funny is it? Rude bitch.").
The second thing that happened was I was reversing out of a parking space in Sainsbury's and almost ran over the trolley guy who was pushing a load of trolleys. He wasn't there when I started moving and I felt that he had not seen that I was moving and had almost pushed his trolleys into me, but he clearly thought it was my fault. But when I saw him I smiled and put my hand up and mouthed sorry but he walked away shouting and throwing his hands up. I had my 2 small kids in the car so didn't want to open the window to hear what he was actually saying but everyone was staring and he caused quite a scene. I was actually quite upset, not only because this guy was an employee of Sainsbury's (you almost expect it from most people these days) but because I had given him the benefit of the doubt so why couldn't he have done the same? I have almost been run over in car parks myself (I have been told I have a very poor spatial awareness maybe that explains why I keep almost running people over and almost getting run over myself but still no excuse for rudeness), I tend to apologise or at the very least smile and say don't worry about it, this was an actual employee of a company with whom I had just spent a lot of money, regardless of whose fault it was surely a bit of common courtesy is not too much to ask?
I know everyone has tough times, there are always people going through an even tougher time than others but still, everyone just seems to be so angry these days. At the risk of sounding ancient what is the world coming to? I can remember asking my grandma what do I do when I catch someones eye? She said you always, always smile. It puts people at ease, makes you feel good and above all it's polite. It's quite rare these days to get a smile back, why is this? I've got to be honest in that if someone looks as if they might take the smile the wrong way ("What you doing smiling at my boyfriend? You trying it on with him innit? Slag") I just look away, but surely I'm perpetuating this situation myself? Maybe I'm wrong, but since when did going through a tough time excuse bad behaviour? I'm sad to admit I have done it myself occasionally, I'm having a hard day, getting arsey with slow drivers or tutting and pushing past people who are meandering around the supermarket with clearly the whole day to spare when I am already late for picking up my son from preschool. But actually, is it their fault I'm late? Is it their fault I'm having a hard day? No. I recently had an experience of someone who always, always seemed to be angry, and looking for more excuses to be angry. Nothing anyone ever did was right, no one was having as much of a hard time, and frankly from where I was sitting this person made other peoples lives unhappy and did not seem to be having a good time themselves. I really don't get these people that seem to think its right that life should be/is miserable. Life's a bitch and then you die. Seriously what's that all about?
There often isn't anything you can do about your situation but we're all in this together, everyone has shit times, and sometimes a smile from a kind stranger can lift your spirits and make you feel all is not lost. So might I politely request that even if you don't feel happy, try to act happy, and you will make life much more pleasant for yourself and those around you.
Rant over.
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