Friday 7 September 2012

Retro Repost: Children's Party Hell


Having had a very busy Friday, and having used up all my organisational skills this week trying to keep up my new school years resolutions I of course have not been organised enough to write a new blog for today. 

Screaming at me from the top of my ever-expanding-at-this-time-of-year to do list for the last few weeks has been to organise The Son's birthday party (I am doing a joint one this year, why put myself through the trauma twice when their birthdays are quite close together?).  So on that note, I decided rather than to leave you lacking a Friday blog, I would repost this one I wrote about a year ago (with a few revisions!)...

Most parents dread kids parties, whether planning one: what if it’s not good enough? What if child hates it? What if child says he wants a pirate party but then 24 hours before the party decides he wants a fireman party instead? Or attending: what if my child won’t play? What if they are rude about the food or entertainment? What if they won’t even go through the door – I have spent many hours in village hall car parks coaxing son number 1 into a party he refuses to take part in because there are balloons, an unfortunate phobia for a 3 year old. Thankfully we’re over that one.

Children’s parties are far more stressful than you would think pre-parenthood, on son number 1’s first birthday party we had 12 kids all with their parents (we served beer and wine to the parents to help them get through it – that was a controversial choice, possibly the rookie mistake of a first time mum) squished into our tiny flat, and I was so relieved that it was finally happening and going well that I drunk half a bottle of wine in an hour and was intoxicated and asleep before everyone left.

But I realise I have created my own party monster. Son number 2 was due a month before son number 1’s birthday. Heavily pregnant and needing a project, I threw myself into planning the ultimate pirate party for son number 1’s third birthday. The Dad, as the appointed MC, spent a week making a pirate costume to wear and I made a little pirate pack for every guest including sash, eye patch and bandana, with the pirate captains hat for son 1. Even son number 2, only a month old, wore a stripy sleepsuit and a little eye patch. It took a huge amount of planning, and was meant to be a one off. Make son number one feel loved and special while dealing with the transition from only child to big brother. But of course the following year he wanted a Buzz Lightyear party. I’d made the mistake of setting the bar too high. The Dad got his costume making hat on again and we arrived at the party as family Buzz, the kids in supermarket Buzz costumes, us parents in slightly too tight white jogging bottoms and home made wings. I was terrified The Dad would take some poor kids eye out with his wings, fashioned out of motorcross body armour and a car undertray (mine were far more child friendly, made out of carpet tiles).

And then there’s the cake. For at least 24hours before every party I am stuck in my kitchen, sweating and stressed, coughing under plumes of icing sugar. For son number 2's second birthday I did Lightning McQueen. But I’ll let you in on a secret, neither of my kids even like cake. I do it because I love the artistic side of it, and the pleasure I get when people say, wow what an amazing cake! It’s all self indulgence.

Sometimes I wish I had just started with a nice simple soft play centre party and a supermarket cake. Minimal planning, no ridiculous costumes, no panicking because Lightning McQueen looks slightly boss eyed. Just show up, pick up the presents and go home. The kids don’t even mind. They always have a brilliant time at soft play parties. But when our parties are over and we can all relax at last and son number 1 says “Mummy, that was the best party ever in the world” I know I’ll be doing it all again next year.

The Dad says he doesn’t enjoy the big parties so much, it’s all too stressful. You could have fooled me when he’s up til 2am the night before making pirate boots out of an old PVC skirt he’s bought from the charity shop. He says he would rather just play on the soft play with the kids and he really doesn’t care whether the cake is homemade or not (which is a shame because he’s kind of the only person who actually eats the cake).

Every year I say I will just do a MacDonalds or soft play party. Easy and simple. But before I got the chance to suggest it to him he says “Mummy, I want a Lego City/ Star Wars/ Spongebob party this year.” And now Son Two is old enough to pipe up with "and I want Peppa Pig party". Yep, I’ve definitely set the bar too high. 

Monday 3 September 2012

New (School) Years Resolutions


Ooh I love the start of the school year. It makes me want to sharpen all my pencils and begin a new notebook. Even in the years between me finishing full time education and having school age kids, I still loved the beginning of September for all its crisp newness, the delicious promise of learning new things and stepping out on a sunny morning in a shiny new pair of shoes.

Unfortunately, this vigour and enthusiasm doesn’t tend to last. By the end of the first month back (OK, first week) we are usually late, fed up and new shoes have been scuffed and ruined. This year however, I intend to stay on the ball…

1. I will iron all school uniforms
Ironing is rather pointless in my opinion. You spend hours getting the creases out of things only for them to get all scrumpled up in messy drawers (and neat drawers is a NYR I have tried and failed to keep many, many times, so it’s time to admit defeat on that one). However, ironing school uniforms should be a bare minimum, I really don’t want my kids to get the “scruffy” label (whoops, too late) so at the very least I will endeavour to iron their uniforms instead of relying on the rather unreliable cheap supermarket school uniforms “non-iron” feature.

2. We will make it to school on time
And not dashing in five minutes late, apologising to the waiting teacher as Son One says “We’re late ‘cus Mummy was doing a poo”.

3. I will do Son One’s reading with him every day straight after school
Instead of only when I remember, and desperately trying to think of things I can fill up his reading diary with on Thursday mornings. Playing with fridge magnet letters, and reading “level one” on Angry Birds counts, right?

4. Sons will get dressed every morning in their bedroom, before coming downstairs, in clothes I have laid out the night before
No more rooting through the washing basket at 8.30am, desperately trying to find an acceptably clean school t-shirt and kids getting dressed in front of Dora. And while we’re on the subject, matching socks, every day.

5. Now that I know stain remover works I will use it
Rather than sending Son One to school in greying, dinner stained t-shirts by half term.

5. We will always walk to school
And learn more about the changing of the seasons, play games and discuss our day on the walk. No more taking the car for the two minute journey because we are either a) running late, b) thinking it might rain or c) feeling lazy. And the kids WILL love it rather than spending the whole walk moaning that their shoes are too tight, they wanted to go the other way, or they have "run out of energeeeeeeeee".

6. I will learn the rules of what is allowed in a packed lunch
I got told off by Son One for putting a packet of mini Smarties in his lunch box last year, as a treat, on his birthday. These are apparently contraband. A KitKat however, is allowable. And I really don’t know the schools standing on crisps either. All very confusing.

7. I will not shout at the kids in the mornings
I will also be strict about not being allowed to take their light sabres for the walk to school then having to face the inevitable screaming match outside the classroom when I try to take it away.

8. I will go easy on myself
No more beating myself up for taking a tin of out of date butter beans as a raffle prize and no more baking ‘til 3am creating a show-stopping cake for the bake sale (this is not the Great British Bake Off). OK, this one is definitely not going to last, especially when I remember that the pumpkin carving competition is only weeks away…

P.s. It has just dawned on me that I have now reached over ten thousand page views (and that's not counting my own)!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for reading, liking and sharing this blog, please keep it up. Here's to the next ten thousand page views :-) xxxxxxxx